Firsts
by brynhlldr
Summary: There are many firsts in Roy's life in response to Ed. Some were pretty unexpected. RoyEd


**I see a trend. The first thing I write in forever just happens to be RoyEd, posted some spontanious time. I guess I owe my readers a long awaited update. I've started college, so my hobbies other than video games and tumblr have fallen slack. Sorry friends.**

 **I put on FMAB on netflix to fall asleep and instead, I got this prompted by 'firsts'. So... enjoy.**

He was a child, falling apart in a chair. First glance said he was broken, wasted and seen too much, but a second and third glance told more. He wanted more. The child sought to have farm more than the suffering he endured. After all, his work had been the cause of the bloody hell spilled on cement and creating a monster that wasn't even human. Roy left after telling him of the military's program and how it possibly could assist them in restoring their bodies.

it was a year, but the first time the Colonel saw the boy on two feet was when he wanted to take the test, strong and sure. It was the first time he watched the boy's mind in action first hand. There was a fascination with him, how the twelve year old stood with a pike's point poised at the throat of the leader of their country, telling high ranking officials more than four times his age that they should tighten their security on who should be taking the tests.

His first time, telling the young teenager about his new certifications, watching that placid face snap into something hard and menacing, something a child's face should be unable of completing. He was more than pleased to receive the title Fullmetal, bright blond braid dangling down his back.

There had been a minor mission Roy had sent him on, nothing that would take someone of his caliber much more than a few hours to complete, yet when he received the first sloppy, half-assed report and the bill for the damages, Roy was confronted with the urge to slap the boy across the wrist in retaliation.

Although, that first slap's impulse would hang on, worsening as time passed. Edward's habits of destroying everything in his path only worsened as he aged, instead of dying off. But, Edward was still a teenager, and Alphonse shadowed his every step as they searched for the Philosopher's Stone without rest.

The first report on his desk that had more than a few drops of blood spilled on its dirty pages became to be several, and Roy had many files he had to copy out into a more legible hand (on his own time, and sometimes avoiding the work _he_ himself was assigned to do) for Edward never wanted help even if he was visibly bleeding.

The sight of a dog, mutated, twisted by its owner to contain the genes of his daughter and her pet, was the first thing to have Edward hunched in defeat, tears spilling down his cheeks. Roy longed to cover him with his jacket and give him somewhere to grieve for the death of a friend in privacy, but he couldn't. He couldn't concern himself with the needs of a subordinate at this time. Especially one so young. If the boy were to survive, Roy must leave him be.

Edward was on to something, the first real trail of evidence that didn't end in a dead end and thousands of damages to pay for. It left him battered and bruised, everything beaten out of him. He was still headstrong, amazing in his tenacity. He had seen things that soldiers would have nightmares about, yet such a boy was able to charge ahead with caution thrown to the wind.

He was absent when Roy encountered his first homunculus, killing Lust by burning her with his flames. The Colonel suffered for it, loosing one of his men to a disabling injury and having a wound stabbing through him, luckily not doing more damage than it did. He knew as a soldier he should be prepared for injury and death, yet he had not come so close to dying in so many years.

He lost contact with Edward when he went on the run. It was ages before he saw him again, the boy furious at him as he stared him down, Envy clutched in his grasp. He'd finally caught the killer of his best friend. He was so close to paying an eye for an eye, and yet Edward and Scar scolded him as if he was nothing but a child with a magnifying glass over an ant on a sunny day.

He never thought Hawkeye would threaten to kill herself. He had not realized they had become so dependent on each other, how impossible it was for such a brilliant woman to take herself out of the world because of that.

There were firsts of being unable to see, being unable to fight. Roy was crushed as he found that his eyesight had been taken. It hadn't even been him in control of the alchemy and yet something so important as his sight was _gone_. If it was a limb, it would have been an inconvenience until he could get automail, but he could suffer through and live, but that was impossible with the state he was in.

He couldn't see the last, fantastic transmutation of Edward Elric. It crushed him, and he couldn't understand why, other than knowing that one of the best alchemists was ending his use of a skill. There was something beyond him that he could not tell. Hands dug into his eyes as he rested from the fight, hands stinging in reliance. They had ached every time he snapped, every time he flexed his hands.

There was a time he was away from Edward again, for some reason he needed to see him, he needed to run his palms over Ed's face and arms, learning him again as he couldn't tell what the boy was thinking any more. He couldn't see how Ed's face would pinch as he thought, or how he lost himself in a book.

It was not a first that he spent so much time thinking about Ed. When he wasn't working on learning the information about Ishbal, his mind was affixed on Ed, everything about Ed. He missed his best friend and being able to ask him about feelings Roy couldn't distinguish for himself. After all, the man was worried and he knew love. Roy had been unlucky with finding the one he wanted to settle down with.

It was a first for him, realizing why at most he never saw a woman for more than a second date, how all of his one night stands remained one night stands, how if he imagined himself with a wife, he felt disgusted and uncomfortable. If he thought himself a husband, waking up to another man at his side, all his worry eased away, and as time passed and Ed grew older, it was the young man who took that figure's place.

He was in love with Edward Elric. He had seen the boy grow into a man and yet he still loved him. That should have turned him away, made him search for another just as great, but… Ed filled his life if he had to admit one thing on his death bed, it would be that.

He loved Edward Elric.

* * *

After Marcoh's alchemy had healed the damage in his eyes done to him by the Gate and the Truth, it was Ed who was the first to visit him. It had been a good deal of time after all, and he had not imagined how much the boy would have changed in this time. His jaw was more square and his cheekbones were sharp and strong, nothing like the round baby face he had all those years ago. It was as if the world took a deep breath and held it, waiting for the silence to be broken.

All that Ed did was take a hand in his, both soft and warm, one stronger than the other and would be for some time. They were both dressed in hospital gowns, Ed's hair spilling over his shoulders like molten gold. Those fingers he was so used to seeing silver stroked over pale skin, turning his hand over and looking carefully at the scar; evidence of Bradley's sword piercing through to pin him.

That visit was the start of something. Ed would return, often alone and sometimes with Al and a walker to help his legs develop after the years they had atrophied. They held conversations that lasted for hours, talking about nothing and everything. Ed talked quietly with Roy about the truth and the gate, both things they had experienced, Roy's trauma more recent.

There was a night Ed opened the door. It was late for anyone to really be up, yet Roy was awake, staring out the window at the moonlight street. Central was almost silent for once, and there was a light creak as Ed lay down beside Roy, his steel automail resting against his leg. Something had started between them, developed from the calm friendship they had cultivated in the long hospital hours.

It was the first time in a long while Roy was able to fall asleep without nightmares, Ed's weight a welcome feeling at his side.

* * *

Roy saw Ed and Al off to Resembool, waving to Ed particularly as the train peeled out of the station. His contract had been ended by Grumman, watch given to him as a gift. Ed waved back, a light flush dusting his cheeks. A relationship had bloomed between them, something that filled him with joy, and promises he'd call to check in with Roy, and that once he was stronger, he'd join him in Ishbal. He'd miss Ed's sleepy weight at his side, something that had been around since they'd been discharged from the hospital, Al staying in the room next to them.

Neither of them really had the want to have sex for the first time, waiting for another time. They were both too tired from just healing and adjusting to new body parts and the injuries gained to have such a passionate time. Roy would prefer if he could take Ed without having to worry about bending over in pain from a headache caused by his eyes.

There would be time for other firsts in the future, and all they had to do was wait. He loved Ed after all and Ed loved him.

It was a first he'd finally found someone he loved back.


End file.
